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Chapter 20 - Dancing Beyond Cancer - Touching The Otherside

Chapter 20 -------- Touching the Other Side

The beauty that came through Danielle after the pain left her body was obvious to everyone. I can’t explain the clarity that developed in Danielle. It truly was the most amazing miracle to have my wife return to me. Months of pain had clouded her mind, but now, she was free. That freedom brought us closer together, closer than we had ever been before. It was difficult knowing that our time was limited and not everyone could handle it.

It was particularly tough on our main nurse. She was new to Hospice and had developed a strong connection with Danielle. I know it weighed hard on her to watch Danielle go through the constant struggles. I could tell that her reaction had shifted after Danielle decided to make her final decision. She even stopped her visits, passing the duty of caring for Danielle to a senior hospice nurse. I thought this was understandable considering the experience we were about to face. It was going to be difficult for everyone who supported Danielle in her decision.

It was complicated even more by the extraordinary experiences that we would all go through with her at the end of her life. Though the nurses usually just nodded and humored Danielle when she discussed what she was going through or experiencing. Danielle would often confer her experiences about talking to angels while also sharing indisputably divine information. It was profound to be able to observe so much of it.

I could tell that the words struck many people, but few truly embraced the information she started channeling. We live in a culture that supports spirituality, but few of us truly experience spiritual encounters. Danielle was starting to embrace the messages she would receive. She had many people that had previously passed coming to visit her. I could tell when Danielle felt someone in the room, and when I didn’t, Andora would.

Andora was often a big signal when spirits were present in the room. We would laugh watching Andora's intriguing reactions. Andora would often start looking around the room as if something was floating around. If it became too overwhelming or Danielle would say there were lots of angels present, Andora would often leave the room. It was interesting to watch but nothing compared to the experience we had with the angels themselves. One experience before our nurse left had all present blown away.

The occurrence happened not long before her decision to stop eating and drinking. She had some concerns with her health that she wanted to discuss with our nurse. It just so happened the nurse was delayed several hours. Danielle told me it was likely due to someone passing. I didn’t know and accepted her opinion.

When the nurse finally arrived late in the afternoon, Danielle told her that she knew why she was late. The nurse smiled at Danielle but said nothing. Danielle then told her it was because someone passed. The nurse nodded in approval but offered no comment. The appointment proceeded as normal with the nurse checking Danielle vitals. We knew it was unethical to share patient information.

Danielle continued by stating, “it was a woman who passed and that she was likely in her mid-80’s.” The nurse now looked surprised but still responded with no comment. No one was prepared for the following statement. Danielle said, “the woman passed with her mother and sister by her side.” Finally, the nurse sat down in the chair in utter disbelief. She just responded, “How do you know this?”

Danielle responded without hesitation that the angels were telling her. We were all completely left in disbelief at the message that had come through Danielle. It wasn’t going to be the last time either. It was always fascinating to hear the messages and observe each unique response. Danielle was always given a free space to explore and share those experiences while I was around.

In my life’s journey, I have had many interesting experiences with those that have passed. It was not unusual, for me, to hear about the topics that Danielle was experiencing. Considering one of the blogs that I follow is about a woman who channels her late husband. A husband who before he passed was channeling spirits too. Channeling is something people can do where a spirit will share information through the person as if they were a conduit for delivering the message. I could tell that Danielle was a channel for messages from the other side.

Which is why when she asked me one evening, “Who is Sophie,” it left me speechless. The reason being is that Sophie was my childhood dog who passed away only a year prior. After her passing, she started visiting me as a giant white polar bear. I never told Danielle, but she had been regularly appearing to me while she was sick. Most of the experiences were regarding clearing dark energies which Danielle never wanted to hear about.

I’ve had numerous experiences of her being one of my animal spirit guides. This time was a bit different because Danielle explained to me that she was coming to her as a beautiful Angel. Considering that Sophie was one of my most recent spirit guides, it was so powerful to have her visiting my wife too. It made me truly embrace the fact that there is more to this world than just this life. I couldn’t deny the synchronicity of my closest guardian angel also appearing to my wife.

Another interesting thing that Danielle started channeling before her passing was strange enough Lakota, the ancient native American language. She would genuinely speak in tongues, with such beauty and grace. She explained this wasn’t the first time she spoke in Lakota, but now she was better. She spoke it effortlessly. She couldn’t even believe how incredible it sounded.

It was more magical when we would do it together. I admit that I never tried speaking in tongue before Danielle put me on the spot. I was nervous, but I knew it made her happy when I embraced it. I noticed the more I embraced it, the easier the sounds would flow. When I was anxious or tired, I couldn’t relax enough to let the words emerge. I loved this unexplainable, unique experience that Danielle and I shared. However, she would also share her Lakota with many of the visitors. She was changing lives without even trying.

Some of the information was genuinely prophetic. Danielle spent much of her last few weeks sharing the information she was receiving. She did a lot of writing, including making sure to pass messages on to her friends and students. She wrote many letters to her students and the important people in her life, and it was amazing the power she had regained in herself. Still, the most interesting visits were when Danielle would call people out on their dreams or nightmares.

She was so good that she had the uninitiated doing Tarot cards to understand their dreams. While common practice for many in Sedona, it wasn’t something these professional women were accustomed to doing. Danielle would give answers and knowledge that had everyone believing. Regardless of the belief in Tarot or having prior dogmas, Danielle was showing a side that few people had experienced. It still didn’t compare to the experiences we shared alone.

Her dream recalls and recall of other experiences grew every day. She was gaining deep insight into her life’s purpose. The messages she would receive were more than just an active imagination. Including one dream that even left me in a state of shock. I was woken up in the middle of the night to Danielle in a complete panic, and it was almost chilling the way she was shaken up. I don’t think that I could have ever imagined what it was that set her off. When I asked her what was wrong, she gave me an answer that still haunts me a little.

Danielle proceeded to tell me that in a past life, she was a Nazi Commander who was closely connected to Hitler. I wasn’t alarmed by that until she told me that, in my past life, I was a Jewish woman that she had gang-raped and murdered me. This news had a physical reaction that I still recall in vivid detail almost a year and a half later. I couldn’t deny that I was having a unique reaction to this news.

Immediately I felt chills go through my entire body, I couldn’t explain it, but I felt all the pain and discomfort that came with an experience like that. Little did I know, but the imagery of the incident would also return that evening. Talk about trauma, and to know that in a past life this event may have happened haunted us. Still, nothing could truly calm the anxiety that Danielle felt about being a Nazi War Criminal. It also allowed us to delve into the idea of why she might have lived her current life the way she did.

Danielle had practically lived the exact opposite life of being a war criminal. In reality, she spent most of her life putting criminals behind bars. The local Sedona police department credits her for over thirty-six arrests. She even taught anti-bullying, which is the exact opposite of what occurred in our past life. If looked at from the grand perspective of balancing Karma, she seemed to have succeeded. The added support of my forgiveness helped free her from the pain she carried. Forgiveness was the most powerful aspect of her moving past the trauma.

The mutual remembrance of Nazi Germany was only to be our first realization of past lives. Danielle told me that several years prior, she was given a past life reading. During the reading, she was informed that in the early 1900s, she was a madam. Sadly her life ended abruptly when a jealous lover killed her. Some Drunk had pushed her off a cliff in Jerome.

At that exact moment an immediate chill run down my back and a feeling of embarrassment mixed with shame. I blurted out, I’m sorry, but I believe that I pushed you off the cliff. We both felt the truth in the statement. It also explains my aversion to alcoholism in this life. Shocked, we also recalled another past life we had already coincidentally discussed.

Danielle once had told me that she was the child of Isadora Duncan, one of the women who founded modern dance in the early 1920s. It explained Danielle’s desire to dance in this lifetime, and it also made me recall what I had learned about how Isadora Duncan lost not just one child but both of her children in a car accident. I realized that in that life, we were likely brother and sister when we both died together. It was clear to me that we had a close connection to be with each other at the end of our lives.

The clarity I was gaining about the infiniteness of our lives across time and space was becoming more fact instead of theory for me. It is one thing to study the idea of past lives; it is completely different actually to experience and learn from our own past lives. I had embraced these past lives, and each one had a huge impact on the purpose my life ended up taking this time around. It was clear that my frustrations from my mother’s drinking were a much deeper issue. If I had murdered someone in a past life because of alcohol, it would explain why people who can’t handle their alcohol upset me.

I wish that it hadn’t taken until the end of my wife’s life to understand her life’s purpose. I could be the support she needed because I embraced understanding our past lives. Clearly her life as a Nazi War Criminal had subconsciously driven her to make this world a far better place, even though she didn’t know it. However, I could also see a thread of abuse that she endured that from a soul’s perspective would balance the trauma she caused in her previous life. The soul experience she had this life was not complete without one final piece of the puzzle. Her atonement also involved me and the forgiveness she needed.

I allowed her to realize that despite her past crimes that forgiveness is the real answer. It was so difficult for her to find forgiveness in the murder of millions of people and being an instrumental part in making that happen. I was able to help her understand that we could overcome those lives where we didn’t live with love or compassion. Lives we succumbed to the temptations that exist on earth. This world is a school for soul development, and our souls have sometimes been on these paths for a long time.

While we incarnated in these bodies, we can burn off the Karma accumulated in past lives. From my observations and experiences, I found that much of the purpose in life comes from overcoming Karmic debt. Many people are stuck in the same patterns causing similar problems to arise constantly. Each encounter is an opportunity to grow out of the reoccurring problem. However, as an American society, we deny the idea of Karma and don’t even entertain ideas like past lives.

My studies of people touching the other side revealed many miraculous stories. My favorite being past lives that have led to real murder arrests. One man admitted to the murder after being accused by a child who explained her past life murder in perfect detail. Healings have occurred that defied science after past life healing. It was clear that some lives carried more trauma than others. Danielle was processing loads of new Karma from the memories she received.

I did everything in my power to convince her that she resolved those lifetimes. I even told her that the pain she had endured must offset some of the karma from being a Nazi. I had to remind her about all the good she did with her life, whenever the issue would arise. The peace she found came from realizing that she had balanced the Karma with her current life. She eventually saw cancer as something that was burning off her Karma too.

It all surprisingly made sense to me. I felt a strong connection to the other side, and with my wife, that ability was growing daily. We started having many experiences with spirits along the journey. Danielle always embraced the good energies while I felt the orgonite kept away less desirable spirits. It was magical. However, one night, Danielle and I would face another level of evil.

The most powerful paranormal event to occur between Danielle and me happened late into one evening. I would guess that it was about ten or eleven p.m. when Danielle and I both heard a loud *POP*. It wasn’t until the second one that Danielle said, “do you hear those gunshots?”

I immediately ran to the backroom only to hear two more gunshots. Danielle told me to lock all the doors and turn off the lights. I proceeded to keep a close watch on the yard surrounding the house, watching for any possible movement.

Both Danielle and I were in a state of panic and couldn’t imagine what had transpired. After making a personal call to the Local Police Sergeant on Danielle’s phone to report the incident, we finally settled in for the evening. I went into an interesting space while sitting in the chair at the foot of the bed. I still can’t explain it but what came to me still haunts me to this day. I witnessed darkness that I could never have imagined.

My experience was something I still wish I could forget completely. In my mind's eye, I witnessed something horrific. It felt like I was looking through another man’s eyes. Except that man went around his house shooting both of his sleeping children before turning the gun on his wife and then killing himself. It wasn’t something I have ever imagined, and it was truly graphic and grotesque. I knew that I couldn’t share this experience with Danielle. It was far too much for her to handle. Especially at night, when her health was far less stable.

The problem was Danielle wanted to know what I was doing in my mediation. I told her that I couldn’t share it with her, but that I cleared the bad vibes from whatever it was. Then the unthinkable happened. She then proceeded to tell me exactly what I observed. She asked, did some guy go through and kill his children and wife. Talk about something I couldn’t make up because I never said a word. It freaked me out and made me believe that what we both felt may have genuinely occurred. I didn’t know what to do about it, but it was highly traumatic for me to get another confirmation.

After several hours of discussion, it became completely clear that I was not emotionally stable to be there for Danielle. The image of the murder had made me unsettled, and it truly felt like I was there watching it. By four o’clock in the morning, I had reached a true breaking point, and I finally recognized it, but at four in the morning, I didn’t know what else to do. It finally occurred to me that I should call someone for help. I didn’t feel that most of the women would understand the unique experience. The only person that came to mind was Grace.

Thankfully Grace had been such a supportive individual, sending texts every couple of days offering her help. This constant support helped me feel comfortable to call her at four a.m. to help me out. She also was very spiritual, which put me at ease after such a bizarre scenario. I was even more relieved to find that she could be over in 30 minutes. The kindness and compassion that she arrived with, really helped put both Danielle and me at ease.

I took a mental break immediately with Grace’s arrival. Danielle was becoming increasingly bothered by my inability to control my emotions. Little did I know something so horrific could be so draining to both of us. Neither of us had the strength to recover from what we felt. Thankfully an angel stepped into our life at the perfect time to provide the added strength we needed. I still have no idea what happened that night. It is still a total mystery considering we never had any confirmation of something so horrific happening in Sedona.

I don’t know the entire purpose of why that happened, whether I was listening to Danielle’s worst nightmare before she even told me, or if it did happen and wasn’t made public. Either way, it did help us understand the deeper psychic connection we shared. A connection that I promised wasn’t going anywhere even after she passed. I felt that I was developing greater skills to communicate with spirits, but Danielle was worried we would lose the connection.

My life had interestingly enough, been practically designed to give me the tools to accomplish the task of helping my wife cross over to the other side. I was not truly prepared, but no one ever is. It is impossible to prepare for the unknown, but if we keep moving forward, I found the universe will provide the answers. These answers can come in in countless ways to create infinite possibilities.

We were living in a time of infinite possibilities, and I still had one wish. I wasn’t willing to give up on Danielle because I still expected her to get better. Then something happened that would create a turning point for me. For so long, I held an attitude that we would beat this disease. It was not easy to let go of that notion. I constantly prayed for a miracle. I did energy clearing to help Danielle, but it never seemed to solve the problems.

It was during an energy clearing that something miraculous happened. It felt like a normal energy clearing, but after I was finished something different happened. Several angels appeared to me and asked how I found the spirits that I cleared. I told them that I found their names in a comic book, and that took me to them. I felt the angels laugh on the inside. I told them that many spirits hide their names in comic books to feed off the fear associated with that name. They seemed satisfied with my response.

Since I felt like I had performed such a miraculous deed, I thought that I should ask for a favor from the angels. I knew that I needed a miracle, and I asked if there was anything that we could do to make my wife better. Then the completely unexpected occurred, I don’t even know how to explain it, but I felt my wife’s energy step forward in that place. She appeared to me as a beautiful angel in her most elegant form.

A presence that I had felt many times before, but never before had this energy communicated to me in the spirit realm. Danielle’s presence was right there before me, and she just reassured me, this is what has to happen. I almost immediately returned to my body after she gave me the news. I awoke from the experience in a state of shock.

Lying there in bed, it took a little time to wrap my head around what had occurred. I had promised not to share my energy clearing work with Danielle, and I kept my word. Despite wanting to discuss it with her, I felt it would cause more problems. It was hard to accept that my wife was not going to beat the disease. It was devastating yet in a way, reassuring too. In a way, she had to make me accept the new reality. My wife was going to die.

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